Above her amputated arm her eyes gazeth,
Her jaw drops below her sunken cheeks.
Curves widen,
Two pieces of red slit.
The dark eye peeps through
into the room of iron coldness where she sits.
Limbs crouched, she kisses her knees.

suddenly feel like writing in english. went to book binding workshop today, i was actually expecting SO MUCH MOre. but i still liked it. eversince i started pursuing this course i’ve become highly critical about other’s design. thats bad in a way that i find myself becoming meaner and meaner. i used to avoid criticizing people cos sometimes i dun like being criticized. but im trying to embrace them anyway. thats one thing to note. after the workshop, i accidentally watched the jodie foster?’s film on a plane. she looks like my secondary school art teacher. hahahaha. we were planning to freshen up our house a little bit today in the first place but we blew the plan. haha. nice. another day like sunday. tmr is heep yunn fun fair. i wanna go, i dun wanna go. you see the contradition? right. ah, one thing to remember, yesterday i saw this guy in the train station, he looked confused. agnes and carmen said it’s my chance haha i just went over and said where you wanna go and im sure i scared him. wahaha nevermind though, he said thank you. but hey i wasnt trying to hit on him you see he must think that i was some kind of slut which im not. and yeah, the concert. felt excited from the beginning to end. love the heavy bass. carmen said; haha it seems like people will naturally fall in love with the singer after going to his or her concert even though one isnt one of the fans in the first place. haha dress code for yesterday, oversize clothes and cap. hahaha. burger king. i swear i will stop my observation. haha. of all kind really. hahaha i swear. the grapes are always sour to me. fine, let’s do it. im used to my way of living anyway and i dun need refreshment and changes. sometimes i got myself so tangled up in something called dot dot dot. and dot dot dot is doing me so bad that i had ansomnia for almost a week because of it. ai. dun wanna ruin my body with my own hands. who mentioned goal achiever in the other day? well im a goal achiever, who never achieve any of them. hahaha laziness is one hell of a problem but i cant help. complaint-loving is yet another weakness. have you discovered any unusual reactions? i think im having some problems with myself up there. i find ding ding ding so normal and yet my mind is constantly antagonizing against my very thoughts. one part of me is yelling go and the other, plays the ethnic card. hahaha im murdering you guys hahaha. whts so serious?! but now i think the main problem is ding ding ding. ai. i’ll forget about it. i insist to stand on my dignity. but thats just a word isnt it just a ucking word. why im afraid to lose it so darn much i dun understand why. but some my front my facade and my false presence is gonna come down ruthlessly to expose those i intend to hide. there is of course a solution to all these. not having one of those f words and thats it. if i dun hv them i wont be threatened by them thts the logic. doesnt matter if its wrong. i wont give a damn after i done writing this entry. as usual. subtlety. hahaha i love bullshitting is there such a word as manshitting ha i wonder. dun be silly sadie lau but i cant stop you know my fingers seems to be moving automatically. i dun think they’ll stop until beep beep beep soothes my anxiety. right thts the deal so why dun you check it? internet. start to break up with it. i think i rely on it just too much. same as dot dot dot you should nveer let yourself indulged in it. you’ll drown. yes i cant swim so i’d better get out of it soon. HA. does action speak louder than words? haha my words are always louder though. hey you twisted the logic of the idiom. so what. no what just trying to remind you. fine i think my fingers are slowing down now so i may take this opportunity to stop cos they;ll become active real soon.

wow i reaaally hv to speak in english im super nervous right now im going to be interviewed 4 hours later i can alrdy feel my adrenaline churning the inside of me omg im going or am i not i need some petals hey decide for me please let the spear of destiny struck me right through am i dying or am i going omg i wouldn’t wanna think about it nonstop for the coming 4 hrs hormones will devour me. anyway i dun give a damn hahahahaha but do i really? everything will be sorted out this afternoon it’s kind of a final conclusion for what i’ve been doing all these years i have never really quite realized that every step i take is actually leading me to this destination man, really one of the biggest destinations in my entire life but i would try not to give a damn then cos the urge to not give a damn is my conscious self while the urge to go to the UK is just the subconscious side it’s really powerful isn’t it so powerful that it has been living in me for so long without my noticing yeah im done now. XD

the spear of destiny has to be thrown

sometimes when i come across good articles, i feel very satisfied. thanks to the authors:

‘… I wouldn’t use ‘romantic’ to describe, hell, I don’t even know what the word means. Perhaps it’s because I’ve not encountered any ‘romantic’ relationships myself. But then I don’t care. Being with a person is not about romance, but rather comfort. You get hooked to him or her naturally you can’t even explain why. That’s love, at least to me. People nowadays often try too hard to get hold of the feeling, to define it, consolidate it. Come on, love’s just a feeling. If you can’t explain what that is but have a ’something’s going on’ feeling, congratulations. If love is just a word, it does not come any closer to describe the real thing. You can’t simply say love is patient and kind. Too brief. Anyway you just can’t sum up the feeling in mere words, same in the bible. You love your family because you have this bond with them, not these adjectives. And you just can’t fight the feeling, or to be rid of the truth. But if you’re stuck with someone other than your family who you feel that you can never get rid of him or her, you might well be in love with him or her. But am I trying to define love myself? Oh my god, to fit it into my own theory: love is a feeling, that way I define it, biting my own tougue. Delete the crap, please.’

rite now i still hvnt worked out how to type chin in mac.
so
ha
printmaking is fun.
but im still nervous, hahaha
after the printmaking workshop
went out wif dear Leeonardo
we shopped,
ate in Temple Street (im sooo pleased),
watched The Savages,
ate in Whampoa.
and here i am.
hell.
the word ‘indulgence’ would never come close to describe what i actuallly do, eat, i mean.
fineeeee
so the consequence is
skin deteriorate again
weight gained.
OK
OK
OK
it’s NOT OK!!!!!!!!
but im very pleased though
thanks for the night, dude

{So long since my last entry. 3 weeks. for the past three weeks i’ve been trying to hunt down the damn thing (well, kinda supernaturalised these days). The thing is called Ego. and when it comes by, usually Brain tags along. then all things, the easy as hell things, come all tangled. OK. i’d take them as they come. OK. things get worse. OK. they get better! OK. worse again, actually, become the worst. OK. try to give up. OK. here it comes. OK. the sun rises. OK. things solved. it’s so hard to give it up. pete to quit the brown is a lot easier. Brain does have some brain. it’d try to hold it back. but Ego is too powerful, even destructive. of course. it always paralyses Brain and leaves it dumb (cos it does the obi-waning) but it’s Conshins who always dies (luckily it resurrects). Conshins and Brain both get pinned to the floor. Can’t move! Nothing goes Ego’s way then. the sole thing that’s left to hunt it down is Sole.

these days i have been thinking, thinking that maybe i’m not destined to be a designer, but something else.
design is not what i feel like doing everyday, but writing.
i can write endlessly and not get bored of it but i can’t design very often. i’d be tired of it.
i would start writing all of a sudden. before i could notice, i would have spitted out a paragraph,
i would never run out of writing ideas but i dun hv much ideas for design.
and lastly. my writing makes my design.
im interested in both, though.
ok.
bring it on.

i dunno why, i feel very happy suddenly.
just,
happy.
and
perhaps
relieved.

nice night with dear gloria mok
we had ‘little pot rice’ again in Temple street
oh i loved it, it’s already the second time in two weeks
im out of my mind. dude. lol
and then, ‘elder brother sweet soup’
my first order was stale and sour but i swallowed a big spoon of it.
unknowingly.
oh, unlucky. hope my body is healthy enough to kill the germs.
and oh, actually i brought my DC just for u
but then i forgot to take any fotos =.=”
actually we can watch film together lei
after 5 is ok la
i love broadway cinematheque
damn! the book i wanted to buy the other day
was sold, YESTERDAY!!!!
oh my god why u even let me know..><
it was half price. but even so i thought it was expensive!!!
and when i’ve made up my mind, it was sold.
i need a time machine…
oh, no, a cash machine.